Admitting that he used a $5000 metal detector, this guy struck major gold. In eighth grade, I built a $0 metal detector made of parts pried out of dead transistor radios, and my big strike was three chicken bones wrapped in aluminum foil at Illinois Beach State Park. Maybe you really do get what you pay for.
Of course, if you're just looking for quarters in the sand, Hammacher Schlemmer's $60 metal detecting flip-flops may be just the thing. I might have thought of that, but flip-flops barely existed here in 1966.
Tribal epicosity metafail: Declaring silly little shit an "epic fail" because your tribe disapproves of it.