Some brilliant if loopy stuff came out of the 70s, and one of the most brilliant is the episode of WKRP in Cinncinnati where they shoved live turkeys out of a helicopter and were surprised when the turkeys soon hit terminal velocity and went splat. (No turkeys were harmed--nor even shown--in that episode.) Thanks to Frank Glover for the link.
There are in fact turkeys that fly. Carol and I bought a heritage turkey of the sort that can and probably did fly, if not very far nor fast. Although it's still thawing as I write this, the theory is that the meat will be darker and juicier coming from muscles that are actually used in the bird's daily life. We'll know soon.
I often eat eggs two meals a day, and don't quail at eating eggs at all three meals. Which made me wonder if you could get turkey eggs somewhere, and what they're like. They're a little bigger (about 25%) and considerably pointier--and almost unavailable. Why? They're lots more valuable as turkeys than as eggs. As so often, Cecil Adams has the last word.
I was astonished to learn (from the above article) that Marshmallow Fluff has existed since 1920. I've tasted it exactly once (as best I remember) when my poor mother attempted to use it in gingerbread house roof frosting circa 1960. The frosting softened the hard gingerbread slabs and the roof caved in.
The obvious question to arise after you cease boggling over putting Marshmallow Fluff in the sweet potatoes: Is there a marshmallow-flavored liqueur? Yup. Smirnoff has it. And a bald woman in their product advertising, egad. Like a marshmallow, get it?
No, I didn't find a turkey-flavored liqueur. However--and I am not making this up--Jones Soda sells (among other things, including Green Bean Casserole soda) Turkey & Gravy soda. How does it taste? Do not fail to read the description in the article.
We're long past Marshmallow Peeps season, but here's an entrepreneurial idea: sell pre-staled Peeps. It takes a year or so to get them stale enough to pass muster with aficionados, but I have it on good authority that they don't get moldy. Don't ask why; you don't want to know. Twinkies were not outliers in this regard.
As for Thanksgiving itself, the holiday and the state of mind, I will simply refer you to what I said in 2008. It's all still true--and since then Jackie has lost a good deal of weight and become ours. Be thankful. Live mindfully. Appreciate those you love and who love you. And thanks to everybody who takes a detour out of their busy online lives to read me here!